Rachel is Waiting

Karl slides his hand under my belt and, against my better judgment, I lie back on the cushions and spread my legs.

“Where does Rachel think you are?”

“Working late.”

He grins. “Then we have time.”

“No, I don’t. She’ll worry if I’m too late.” But I don’t close my legs.

“Do you want to do it here or go up to the bedroom?”

“I don’t feel like doing it now.” But his hand rests against Pinocchio’s nose growing in my pants and he knows I’m lying.

“You’re so young and beautiful,” he breathes, sticking his tongue in my ear. I’ve told him a million times I hate that. “Can’t I convince you?”

Now I wish I’d gone straight home. I’m depressed and I hoped I’d feel better after visiting him. I only want to talk, but it will be easier to give in and go up to his bedroom. “Okay, but it’s got to be quick.”

Upstairs, he turns on the fan. He tries to push me onto the bed to undress me. If I let him, he’ll take forever. I stand by the bookcase with my feet nailed to the floor. He kneels in front of me and, unbuckling my pants, pulls them all the way down. He fumbles with my underwear and then gets to work. Karl takes pride in how fast he sucks off men.

After a while I begin to enjoy it and stop reading the titles of the books on the shelves. As usual he moans more than I do. I come in time with the clock striking the hour. Six good spurts. It’s fun to come and not worry about where it goes. Besides Karl is very particular about his carpets.

I zip up, my legs wobbly. I giggle with relief.

Karl remains on his knees as if he expects more. He’s balding more than I remember. “I want to fuck you.”

“It’s too hot. Maybe next week.” Right now the thought of him inside me makes my skin crawl. I have no desire for him, or anyone, after I’ve come.

He walks with me out to my car.

“I’ll call you.” I open the door.

“When?’

“Monday?”

“I’ll count on it.”

Standing on the sidewalk, Karl seems like any other fifty-year-old man who might walk by. I think of my semen in his belly.

“Go home and make a baby this weekend,” he teases.

“I’ve done enough damage already!”

He leans in the car window. “Have you thought anymore about what I said?” I start the car to keep the conversation from getting serious. He raises his voice. “You always have a place here.”

He pecks me on the cheek. The neighbor across the street is watching us from his porch.

The sun is setting, but the September evening is still hot. On the way home, I relax for the first time all day. Even a rushed blow job is better than none. I laugh no longer depressed. I know I’ll make it through the weekend.

I’m home by 6:30. Rachel is watching for me. “Jennifer and I waited dinner.”

Jenn opens the screen door and skips down the brick walk. “Daddy, where have you been?” She pretends she’s angry and shakes her finger at me.  “We’ve been waiting for you.”

I kneel down and take her in my arms. “Give us a kiss.” I feel her soft lips against my neck. I don’t want to let her go.

“I love you, Daddy.”

Over her shoulder, I watch Rachel smiling down at us. One arm holds open the screen door, the other rests protectively across her swollen belly.